Anxiety

Anxiety can describe a feeling of ‘dis-ease’, worry or fear – this can cause us to obsess or over think things.  We can all get caught in negative ruminating – feeling paranoid about what others may think of us or doubting our capabilities…

Anxiety can escalate to the extent some may experience acute Social Anxiety, resulting in the avoidance of certain situations or leading to feelings of overwhelm or panic.

We all can feel Anxious at times in our lives when our resilience is down or perhaps we are in a new beginning and it can affect us on an emotional and physical level.  Sometimes Anxiety can actually be different feelings disguised as Anxious affect.

Anxiety is the scourge of our time with 1 in 3 people feeling affected by Stress and Anxiety.  Understanding what works for you when you feel sensitised in this way is how you can begin to feel empowered again and more able to be out there in the world with confidence.

Usually, there will be a reason why you are feeling this way….  Counselling can help you understand the roots of your worries and fears and we can look together at developing some coping strategies to help you feel more able to cope.

Depression and Low Mood

Low Mood can be characterised by feelings of sadness, flatness and perhaps not wanting to engage with your normal or desired life activities.  Depression can often be a longer-term experience, beyond the experience of low spirits, including maybe at times some suicidal thoughts or a sense of  despair.

Sometimes we may have a part of us that feels Low whilst we can feel focused, distracted or even happy at other times.  It is possible to enter into a curious dialogue with our sides of us, knowing there will always be very good reasons why we feel the way that we do…

Having the ‘blues’ can occur for all sorts of reasons – sometimes it can be a result of something painful or traumatic in our lives, a loss or a significant change… It may also be part of what we are going through in terms of life-phase; it may be hormonal, situational, genetic or a response to some experience we’ve had.

Even though it can feel counter-intuitive, it is always a good to reach out for connection and support when you feel low.  Life can sometimes feel unbearable when you are going through painful experiences and in this place, it’s hard to imagine that anything can and will change, but it can….

With Counselling support, it may be possible to get the help you need;  to understand what is going on for you and ultimately to begin move towards a new chapter and a more positive, hopeful path ahead.

Low Self Confidence

We can all have bad days when we feel low in confidence or insecure, but when poor self-esteem holds you back from pursuing things you’d like to do, or where your lack of confidence affects you socially or in your relationships, then seeking help is a positive step.  Counselling provides you with an opportunity to identify and understand any negative core self-beliefs you may hold and how your past experiences have impacted on your self-esteem.

Most people will carry some negative beliefs about themselves – feeling ‘too much’ , that there’s ‘something not ok about us’ or that we’re ‘not good enough’ in some way – This is such a common experience. There can often be a discrepancy between how we see ourselves and how others view us.  The determining factor to our happiness will be our own lens on ourselves and life – we can’t change others but we can focus on ourselves.  We can understand how some of those beliefs you can hold about yourself came into being and these can loosen or we can become unburdoned by them completely…

If you are not living the life you want or could be, then it takes courage to tend to that… As Marianne Williamson quotes, “the world is not served by you playing small”.  Counselling can support you in developing a more realistic, balanced and positive self-perspective and to enable you to move beyond any self-imposed limitations.

“No one is you and that is your power”
Dave Grohl

Feeling Stuck

You may feel there is a decision you’ve been unable to make, a career move, a relationship change or that you’re not living quite the life you’d like….

Counselling can help you to identify what is missing for you, what keep you stuck where you’ve been and allows you the space to review your choices in relation to your wants, needs and your dreams…

It will be true for all of us that some decisions or choices are hard to make… We may have different sides of us holding polarised feelings… a part of us that wants to make changes but another part of us that somehow sabotages us in some way… In therapy, we explore all your inner perspectives to bring more understanding about those internal dynamics in order to feel we have a real Choice, even if it is a difficult one…

There may be things that you know are holding you back – concerns about what others might think; fears around the consequences for yourself or others; or fears of failure or low self confidence…

The bottom line is if you are feeling stuck and aware of that frustration, this may well not dissapate – This is an issue worthy of addressing because it is possible to gain more clarity, courage the the strength of purpose to make changes….

Relationship Themes

We can often find the same themes re occurring in our various relationships.  Unable to voice our needs, withdrawing and feeling resentful, or perhaps feeling really triggered so that we blow up or possibly walk away..

Most of us can identify what are the repeated patterns in our relational dynamics but we can sometimes find ourselves blaming the other person, which may well be relevant, however, the real gold can be recognising where you might be feeling activated and why….

From this place it can be possible to bring new insight and potentially access a different choice of approach in dealing with issues in a new way.  Potentially leading to quite a radically different outcome…

In IFS therapy, we learn first to do that U-Turn towards ourselves – what am I feeling?

Trying to make sense of that for you first.  When we are able to validate and understand our own reactions and feelings then it can be so much easier to advocate for ourselves in a more helpful way.

Counselling can help you explore those difficult dynamics in your relationships and give you some new tools to help you understand each other and to learn to communicate in a more compassionate and constructive way.

Historical Issues

We are all shaped by our past and we all have experienced ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’ of something.   Ous history with a lack of enough Connection or not enough Space and Autonomy for example  will impact us and affect our view of ourselves, relationships and how we see and be in the world… 

It may be that you still carry some of those labels, passed on through implicit or explicit messages you received throughout your childhood.  Beliefs you possibly learned from your family that can get in the way of the life you want to life now.

In therapy we can look at some of the beliefs you  hold about yourself that have become clear in any re-occuring themes in your life and relationships.  You will have the opportunity  to explore what is still active in you, what could be let go of or accepted.

In therapy we often review the times we felt ‘triggered’, which is something about how the other has behaved towards us but there is an opportunity is to look at what this event or behaviour  has exposed within us… for example, a betrayal that activated an deeper belief of our ‘unworthiness’, of not being good enough etc.  Beliefs that belong more in the past than in the present…